Sunday, October 10, 2004
Outstanding Satire
Kerry Releases Plan for GWOT
Sen. John Kerry's campaign today announced a sweeping and detailed plan of how a Kerry administration would shake up the Homeland Security Department, make the nation more secure by focusing new resources on defending the homeland and capture Osama Bin laden.
"These are bold and needed changes in areas where President Bush has failed," said a campaign spokesperson. "It will grow the coalition, make efficient use of existing technologies to protect our ports, water supply and intelligence information while assuring every citizen of their ability to survive any confrontation with a terrorist enemy. And it also contains a specific plan to capture Osama Bin laden and bring him to justice."
If elected, a Kerry administration would immediately appoint renowned French Inspector Jacques Clouseau as head of Homeland Security. Clouseau would likely be assisted by Israeli ex-patriot and Anti-Terrorism expert Golan Cipel. Cipel is credited with blowing New Jersey's Homeland Security Department up into the size of a formidable agency. Additional Kerry plans dove tail precisely with his latest campaign and debate rhetoric......./snip/.....
